Feminism and Everything Else

Sorry I missed last week! I completely spaced, so I guess I can cover everything this week.

I agree that feminism shouldn't undermine men, but that women need to stand up and win their rights. Women's rights have improved a lot in the last century, but there is a lot of things that could be done to improve it. Another part of it is education. The world would be so much better if all women were educated. Have you seen the Girls, Inc. videos? I think it's totally true that empowering women would have a huge, positive effect on the world. But, if feminism is taken to extreme heights, we would just have a lot of crazies running around.

I also think that Facebook can be a great way to have fun, spread ideas, and voice your opinions, but people will say things that they wouldn't say face to face. Arguments can get can get out of hand and be misunderstood online. For example, a band that recently broke up, You Me and Everyone We Know, is currently having a huge argument online, with everyone else to see. It's getting really crazy and I don't know who to believe. It's really sad to see a band that I love break-up and then there is all this drama going on, as well. I don't think that the band members have talked personally, either, they are just reading posts on a website to see what the other side is saying.

My recommendation is the band, You Me and Everyone We Know. Hopefully you won't pay attention to the argument going on.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a good Easter (or if you don't celebrate it, a good Sunday).

Emily, that picture was hilarious! I loved the new Doctor Who! The creepy alien is freaking me out, though. :)

DFTBA

When Self Esteem Fails

Do any of you guys have one person whose opinion you care about the most?  I've spent a lot of the past few years learning how to ignore what other people thought about me, and it's worked mostly.  Of course, it's not foolproof.  If you poke at the same sore spots repeatedly, it hurts, but ultimately I care very little about what most people think about me.  And then there's my ex-boyfriend.

I suppose he can be considered my ex-ex-ex-boyfriend since I dated him twice (that makes sense, honest).  I suppose it's not really a surprise that the first (and only, as it happens) person I dated (and loved) would be the person whose opinion affected me the most, but it's still bloody annoying.  The first time we broke up I was heart-broken, and went through a really horrid period of time where I was constantly trying to convince myself that I was over him, which only ever worked for brief periods of time.  Eventually I got to the point where I could be friends with him, and that friendship obviously grew into a second relationship.

But in between that first break up and our second attempt at a relationship we had both grown in different ways.  I had become more independent in those two years, and less naïve, but that didn't mix so well with his hopeless romantic side.  We broke up again after two months.  At the end of our second relationship I was pretty sad at first, but the end of our relationship had been filled with arguments and fights and with a lot of unhappiness on both sides, and I've largely come to accept that.  I don't think we're good together, but I also don't think I'm ever going to really get over him.

This was definitely proved by the fact that he very recently started dating someone again.  Partly, this news was very weird, because the person he's dating happens to be a friend, but also because I didn't expect to feel anything resembling jealousy when he started dating someone (mind, it's not raging jealousy, but it's still there). Then, his facebook status today proclaimed that his current girlfriend is one of the top three people he knows, which somehow made me feel really sad, probably because both times we were dating he never said anything close to the same about me.  And then I felt silly for feeling bad about that.

It's really aggravating, knowing that someone isn't good for you, but not being able to let go of them, and having their opinion of you constantly matter.  But so far I've been handling this break-up loads better than how I handled the first one, these past few days have just proved that it's going to be harder than it originally seemed.

So I'm not completely down for the count, but sometimes the little things have the most insidious ways at getting under your skin.

Anyway, I feel slightly embarrassed from having shared all that, so I'm going to end here with a recommendation to read Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver.

Feminism, Activism, and Other -Isms (except that's a lie; I only have 2 -isms)

I'm so sorry I missed last week! I left for Science Olympiad in the middle of the school day, and by the time I remembered that I needed to blog, I was already in a hotel across the state from my house. XP

I have a brief comment on the make-up topic. I definitely agree that make-up should be used in moderation. One thing that happened at my school recently is that a friend of mine started an event on Facebook for "No Make-Up Friday". The idea behind it was that although make-up can be fun, girls should be able to feel good about themselves just the way they are and not feel the need to hide behind make-up. I'm not sure how much it really helped any of the girls or whether other people actually participated, but I still really like the idea of it.

Rebecca, that sounds like quite the Facebook conversation! I would also like to commend you on being very eloquent and rational about your opinions. I agree that the image is not too agressive, but perhaps that's just because I'm female too. I feel like although a lot of progress has been made in women's rights, there's still quite a bit of inequality between the genders in our society today. And nothing is going to change if people are going to be passive and not do anything about the problem. I think that all of the things listed in the picture are very real issues, and the only way anything is going to happen about them is if women stand up and fight for what is right, not in a violent way, but in a supporting equality way. It's more like it's saying that even though society tends to put women through more crap just for being women, we're going to be tough, stay strong, and push through.

It seems that some feminists do take it a bit too far; they seem to be trying to make men feel as inferior as possible. I don't think that's what feminism should be about. It should be about striving for equality. We are all human beings, so we should all be treated the same way.

As far as Facebook activism, I agree with what Simone said. In a perfect world, people would be able to discuss politics rationally, even when they have a computer screen between each other. People are very opinionated and very stubborn. Discussions turn into arguments and the arguments never go anywhere because few people are willing to listen to the other side. Another problem with political discussions/arguments is that it always seems to me that nobody actually knows what they're talking about, so the opinions they're so passionate about are often based on misinformation, which doesn't help anyone. I think a lot of those problems with political discussions happen with other touchy subjects, like evolution or feminism or abortion.

So Facebook and other social media sites tend to be pretty bad for discussing social activism. On the other hand, I think it can be very good at spreading the word of problems going on in the world. There are many issues I probably would have never known much about had it not been for activism on social media. Facebook may not be the best place to discuss issues, but it can definitely be beneficial for letting people know about problems in the world and what they can do about them.

My recommendation for this week is Portal and Portal 2. They're both amazing video games. Probably my favorite video games ever. Portal 2 came out on Tuesday and I've been playing it quite a lot. If you haven't played it, I highly suggest you play it ASAP.

Also, for all the Whovians here, I'm pretty pumped for tomorrow. :)

It's already been a week?

[Insert cheesy way to express astonishment]

It's already thursday again?? These weeks seems to become shorter. Or maybe, I've been actually busy. Hopefully the last - that makes me sound sophisticated.

So, Rebecca - that was one Facebook conversation!

Now, I'm all up for equality, but not feminism in particular. I mean, sure women should be appreciated and they should be acknowledged, and it's so good to see female bosses, etc.

But, we must remember that without men, we wouldn't be able to create life. Human life, at least. In decades, maybe lifetimes, scientists may have found a way to produce life without the male genes, and so the women will rule the world? And would that be a good thing? I don't hope so personally. Both genders were made for a reason, and the "balance" in nature would just go wild if anything was changed. (btw, nothing is scientifically proven, and whatever I say may not happen - I'm guessing)

Enough about equality and my opinion on that; now about making activism on Facebook. It's a good place, if you want to be heard. I see the point in standing up to your own gender, but I don't think that politics really belong to social medias. Don't get me wrong, all I'm saying is, that it wouldn't be nice to be looking at political parties discuss online, right?

it's kinda the same when you let the public talk about politics as well. We're all just so different, and what one may think is right, is dead wrong to another.

I thought the picture aggresive, sure, but for men. Men doesn't feel the need to show who's in power with signs and posters, they just feel confident enough to just say "I feel superior to your gender" which is 1. wrong, and 2. making the female gender inferior.

I think it's wrong to prejudice, a subject I'm sensitive about. In all sorts of ways - hating people before even caring to know them is wrong. Judging by looks and never wanting to see anything but hate - the things one might hate about a person - is so wrong.

I'll finish off in a lighter note; I hope you have a good easter (mine is great) and I hope you enjoy the holidays! (At least, Denmark has easter break now)

Uh! My recommendation this week will be this: put on light clothes, get out in the sun and read and listen to your iPods. The weather is so splendid!

DFTBA (:

Facebook Activism?

So, on Thursday one of my (feminist) friends posted this picture on facebook:

She tagged the people she thought would appreciate the picture, and those people were duly appreciative. But between the combative tone of the picture, and one of the comments my friend made to someone else (my friend to a male feminist/supporter that he could "attack" from the inside), things went awry.  Essentially, one of my friends (let's refer to him as 'N'), posted a comment on the picture which essentially said "ooh, let's play girls against boys".  For some reason no one really recognized this as sarcasm, and the misunderstanding devolved into an argument, which probably could have been avoided with a simple apology, or explanation.  In the end 'N' got blocked from the conversation as the person who posted the picture (let's call her 'K') didn't want to continue with an argument that would only frustrate her.

Of course, after 'N' got banned, he posted a status saying "Blocked by [K]. Achievement? I think so. For having a legitimate argument? I think so." (For the record, 'K' is "infamous" in my school for being a "feminazi" who calls bullsh*t when she sees it [the latter is most definitely true, the former, not at all]).  Now, 'N's comment frankly seemed a bit petulant to me, but I wanted to focus on his "legitimate argument", and I did in fact address this on the comments.  The 'argument' he had first carried out on the picture didn't seem well formulated or coherent, but essentially boiled down to him believeing the picture was "inappropriately aggressive". When 'K's sister 'S' asked why he thought the picture was too aggressive, 'N' responded by saying:

[S], I say the picture is inappropriately aggressive because of the choice of words and the initial comments below the picture. I can't view the picture anymore, but I remember it using the word "fight" or something to that effect, which... may convey violent action. That, coupled with the comments below, such as your own -- "You can destroy them from the inside" (or whatever) were the cause of my disapproval, and as a result I sarcastically made my first comment. Which may have been distasteful, and/or taken seriously by others.

Another commenter 'M' added that "i completely agree with [N]. "you should be very, very afraid of me"... seriously? that's a threat that completely demeans the entire concept to be no better than what the cause is against." I posted a response in response to both of these posts, as well as my personal interpretation of the picture and the inciting incidence:

1) The top of the picture said "I fight back." and then listed things that the woman in the picture fight back against, some of which included violence, or a system that blames the victim, others which were simply gender biases. Between the two, I personally got the impression that The word "fight" was not necessarily meant in the violent sense, but rather in the protest sense of the word.  [This point was mainly a clarification for 'N', who could no longer view the picture/comments].

2) [K] said "attack" (just to correct your quotation), but I believe (hope) that she also meant this in a non-violent way, and what the substance of her comment was that [the male feminist commenter on the picture] (as a guy) can refute a misogynistic mindset.

3) The caption under the picture can seem over the top, but I took more of a "don't mess with me, because I can defend myself" rather than a threat to "attack" unprovoked. The unfortunate truth is that American society has some sort of perverse glee in victim-blaming and slut-shaming, which makes it a very dangerous world for women, because sometimes the victims are blamed to the extent that the perpetrator is not rebuked.

I think a lot of how both sides of this "argument" view the picture has a lot to do with the respective party's genders. Whereas you [N] and [M] viewed it as threatening or combative, I viewed as defensive. Why shouldn't men be afraid of me, when I'm supposed to be afraid of them? Of course the picture is abrasive, and it also seems to be divisive (as displayed in the comments here and the picture), which may be counter-productive. But it opened up a conversation, which, while full of misunderstandings, took place between people that *usually* respect one another. Anyway, that's my perspective. I commend whoever read through the whole thing. (Here's a cookie, and a smile :) [You can have a cookie as well, but I'm afraid I only have imaginary ones :/, the smile is real though :)]

The conversation continued beyond this, but I'm not going to regale you with the whole thing (at the moment its about 50 comments long...).  Though I believe I've always been a feminist, lately I've been doing a lot more reading, and talking to my friend 'S' a lot.  I think I'm still forming some of my opinions, but I appreciated this conversation, as mentioned above, because unlike most facebook conversations about sexism I've encountered, people were being civil and intelligent, something I strive to accomplish whenever I am engaged in a debate or argument, even if I feel passionately about the subject (maybe even especially).

So is this facebook activism?  I don't know, but I certainly hope that what I was saying made sense to the people on the opposite side of the argument, and that they accepted it.  The people engaged in the conversation weren't close-minded for the most part, and so I hope that my perspective may have helped to have them view the picture in a different way.  Their perspective certainly forced me to analyze how I felt about the picture, and how I responded to it, but everyone interprets things differently.

So, what issues (if any) are you passionate about?  What did you think of the picture?  Did you find you find it too aggressive (if so, why?) Or did it seem like a good message (again, if so, why?)? To the people following the blog please feel free to respond in the comments, but I ask that everyone remain civil and respectful of one another.

Recommendation: In keeping with the theme of this post, I recommend the blog Feministe, it's normally sharp, intelligent and sarcastic and is frequently witty and funny (in my opinion, I suppose)

P.S.  Hopefully the use of initials wasn't too confusing in the post, although, knowing me, I probably slipped up once and revealed someone's name. I was also wondering what people thought of the idea of me addressing the rest of the conversation next week (the "theme" could certainly be different from everyone else, though I would love to hear what you all think of the picture)?

Make-up Part 3

I have to agree with the two others aspect on make-up, but with slight changes along the way.

Well, sometimes I wear a bit of black mascara in the every day, and when I go to parties, I wear most on my eyes - especially smokey eyes, which is a look I support, if you know how to do it properly. Not looking like a panda is the goal, and a lot of people don't really get that.

The school I'm at, wears loads of make-up, and you can tell. You can especially tell if they don't. They look all pale and human.

Most of the girls wear black mascara - and loads of it. Concealer/foundation/blush (whatever it is, obviously I'm not a fan/user) - I mean, sure, it's fine wearing some to cover scars, moles, pimples, etc. But if you don't need it, what's the point? That's just waste of money.

And I think this is universally acknowledged as well: girls who uses foundation or build-your-own-tan, or what it's called (not a fan of that either) and forgets their necks. I had a friend who forgot to do that, and she got a bit upset when I told her. But she did remember to use it on her neck and forehead as well. Unfortunately, that made her look even worse; being very pale and then forget her arms. She didn't like short sleeves, but she liked to pull up her sleeves half up her arms, so they'd show anyways. But you know, she kept on doing that, but she wasn't very popular, so no one really noticed. Or care to tell that they noticed. In the end I don't think I did, either.

I think eyeshadow is too much for daytime. It makes the eyes mysterious, like covering them up. And it doesn't match to the daylight colours, unless it's very subtle.

I know girls who wears eyeshadow in the daytime, and it doesn't exactly make me cringe, but I do shrug, and wonder if they aren't aware how they look. But, they much definitely does. Otherwise, they wouldn't bother with the make-up in the first place.

I think, just to walk a bit away from the make-up, I'll talk about hair a little bit. I'm part danish and part korean, so my hair is both scandinavian thick, and korean .. glossy.

Since it's very dark, with both my parents having dark hair, it's been a mess to dye. It's dyed red, and it's been a while since. So it's a bit faded. People says it looks nice, and I tend to agree. I really like it, and I've been a redhead for a little under a year now, and I do think I'll keep it that way. It's also quite long, and six months ago, I decided I wanted bangs. Now, I've forgotten to cut them, and now the hair has grown way over my eyes. And yes, I think about cutting it everyday, I've just gotten around to it (and besides, last time I did that, it wasn't equally long).

And, now I've run out of aspects of my hair, so I'll end here.

Anyone excited for the new series of Doctor Who? I can't wait, which is totally ironic, since Denmark never gets Doctor Who ):

And for a recommendation, I'll say Ministry Of Magic. Awesome wrock (wizard rock), and if you don't know them - they make music about Harry Potter, and even if you do know them, listen to Old Enough To Die. And I May Lose Everything. But beware, they contain awesome!

Oh, this bit contains stupid self-advertisement (and sorry about that!) - I'm part of a newly started collab vlog on Youtube, and we're called TheQuirkTastics, and you're all very welcome to check us out. If you don't want to, that's fine. And once again sorry for the shameless promotion. :3

Make-up

This might be a little short. I'm really tired. Sorry! :)

Make-up, I think, is fun and can be really useful for accentuating your good features and trying to keep attention away from features you don't exactly want to flaunt. I really don't wear make-up too often, though. I had a habit of wearing a little foundation a few months ago because I was kind of self-conscious of my skin. Recently, I've only been wearing make-up for special occasions or going out.

I go to an all-girls high school, so not many people wear make-up everyday. Most of the girls in my class are too tired or don't care enough to try. Some girls do wear make-up everyday, and it kind of stuns me when I see them without it.

As for my own make-up (when I do wear it), I like to wear some brown eyeliner and foundation. I avoid wearing mascara and black eyeliner because I always seem to get mascara on my eyelids and the black eyeliner does not come off entirely, giving me a sickly look. I occasionally wear lip gloss, but I keep a tube of Chapstick with me at all times.

To me, too much make-up is the really thick, dark raccoon eyes that some girls sport. I think that it makes their eyes look tiny, and the eyes are the best feature, in my opinion. Also, layers and layers of foundation makes me cringe.

I agree with Rebecca when she says that make-up shouldn't make you feel prettier. It should be fun and something that you want to do, not just have to do in order to be beautiful.

Recommendation: BLTs. If you don't know what they are (I'm sure most of you do), it's a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich with or without mayo. I had one for dinner and it was delicious. :)