I can't even..

Oh god, I can't even make a blog. My heart is filled with so many loving feelings. And yet, I feel like crying. I watched the entire of the 3 or 4 hours of the Harry Potter livestream on Youtube, and I am moved, happy and so many other things, that it's hard to talk about.

I'd love to chat, but I can't even.. Right now, it's too much.

DFTBA and love Harry Potter <3

Bad day

Rebecca, you are soo lucky! That camp sounds so awesome. I wish there was something like that here. Seriously, I envied you sooo much, when I read it the first time. Enjoy it!

Well, this is a bad day for me - because I've been dreading work all day; I got on the train, finally. The train stopped at every. single. stop. That meant I was a bit late, when I arrived, I went to the staffdoor, which was locked. So not only was I even more late, but people were staring at me, for trying to open a closed gate. Brilliant.

Then I had to walk the entire way back to the grand opening, which costed me a few minutes. then I couldn't find the effing stall! And I ran and ran around the entire place, until I remembered where it was, and went there. When I arrived, no adults were there (which would've been nice, instead of all the cocky teenagers with their I-am-in-charge-so-just-listen-cause-I'm-cooler-and-four-months-older-than-you attitudes) So I was late, and this really bitchy guy (not everyday you meet a such one) and he was all "we arrive here sharp and dressed. Now it's past the time you should have started and you are not dressed" I WAS LATE WITH ONE MINUTE.

There I was, in my - correctly observed - purple sweater, confused and now annoyed with bitchy-boy. Bitchy-boy was continuing being bitchy, and I got more and more upset, because I didn't think I wanted to keep the job anyway, and the stress and bitchy-boy just pushed me over the edge, so instead of going to my shift, I went up and quit. My boss seemed nice about it, so it made me feel better.

I've been thinking about, what kind of job I'd like instead. I'd love to be doing the lazy person's job. Like blogging or writing. But since that is obviously not going to happen (given this is a slow country and .. that would just never happen. And if it did, I'm not born in the lucky-stuff-just-happens-to-me batch)

So, I've figured. I like my small cousins. I could babysit. Or pick up kids from the local kindergarden/club. (I live 500 metres from the club and a kindergarden) - this could happen. I could get a supermarket job (even if it does seem a bit embarrasing)

I don't know why, but I think work is embarrasing. It sounds completely ridicolous, but I never told any of my local friends, because I was afraid they'd come and say hi. Which, in my eyes, is worse than failing to make a candyfloss three times in a row. Which, by the way, did happen. And that was bad.

So now I'm home early, and tomorrow (while I'm waiting for Portal 2 to arrive) I'll be writing applications for various jobs and offer to pick up/entertain kids.

Thursday Top 3 - music edition:

1. Hideous Creatures - Starship

2. Teenage Dream - Glee version (Darren Criss!)

3. Make Your Own Kind Of Music (simply because, it reminds me of Lost)

Oh, and by the way.. A hilarious song title I read was on one of the Lost soundtracks, that I can't get out of my head: "Your kharma hit my Dharma" HA!

DFTBA till next week!

Writing

I believe in a previous blog entry I mentioned that I would be spending two weeks of my summer at a writing camp.  And...uh...well, that's where I am right now.  Fun stuff.  The program is run by the Kenyon Review and is a residential camp that takes place at Kenyon College (which, incidentally, is John's alma mater).  I've only been here for about a day and a half, but I'm already having a lot of fun.

I've made a few friends, that I'll probably start to stick with for most of my time here.  My roommate is (thankfully) pretty nice, and awesome and all that.  I've also hit it off pretty well with a few people from my class group (we remain in one group with the same instructor for all of our classes).

So far I've met two or three nerdfighters (my roommate is one!), a buttload of Harry Potter fans, and two Doctor Who fans.  It's nice to be in a (physical) place where nerdiness is the norm, and eyebrows aren't quirked at "large" words.  It's also great to be in a place where I can talk about how frustrating it is to have insistent characters nagging in my mind while in the middle of another project, and not receive strange looks.

Today (actually, about a half hour ago from when I'm writing this), we got to hear P.F. Kluge talk about writing, and reading, and avoiding starvation while writing and reading.  I've so far only read one short essay by him, but I definitely intend to read a few of his novels.  From that little that I've read, I would definitely recommend him (and that'll just be my recommendation for the day).  He's also really funny.

I do hope that tomorrow there will be a bit more instruction than there was today.  Though I love prompts and free writing, I would love critique (I mean, I wouldn't love hearing it, but I'd love to have the benefit), and learning how to strengthen the areas of my writing that I feel I'm weak in (like dialogue).

I'm also really excited to possibly have the chance to do editorial work here.  An anthology of all the writers' work is going to be compiled, and it is going to be done by people within the camp (another opportunity to meet new people!).  editing is one of the things I'd love to do (along with Journalism and Library Sciences), and having real practical experience would be wonderful (and excellent resumé fodder!).

I have a secondary blog that I've been sitting on, and haven't posted on yet, but even just being here for one day, I've felt so inspired to write.  That blog is (going to be) dedicated to random thought, poetry and prose.  As well as random rants about politics and injustice I'd imagine.  When I actually start posting there I leave a link here.  I'm really hoping that I'll start updating that on a semi-regular basis.  the best way, I've found from being here so far, to be inspired to write and to keep up habitual writing is to just...write.  Constantly.  So that's what I'm vowing to spend this summer doing.  In addition to cleaning my room.

...Maybe.

It's still thursday, right?

I can't believe I forgot it! I actually knew, and it was in my calendar. I have no one to blame.. But Lost. I mean, me. No, Lost.

I'm watching Lost season 5 and it is sooo good. At the end of season four, I was like: wait, what? Nononono, that can't happen!

So I was naturally very eager in getting the next adventures, since everything was just.. chaos, and death, and bombs, and helicopters (not exactly what you expect from a "lost on a deserted island" show, I'm very aware, but it's still so amazing)

My heroes are - both fictional and real - and responsible for the fictional characters.

I wouldn't say any "real" people are my heroes, because sometimes, we are all let down by our families and friends, so I'd rather say, that fictional people are my favorites, and those I look up to. Simply because, I can choose along the road, which people I like and dislike.

JKR is an obvious one. I love her and I love her world, I love how she was able to make other people love her fantasy world as well. It's amazing to accomplish what she has done, and I hope that in my lifetime, I will be able to experience another great, and as big phenomenon. But Harry will always have a special place in my heart.

I love Jane Austen as well; even if I have to argue why every single time I am asked. It's simply because she was brave. Brave and witty, and cultured and precise. The best thing about old books and stories, are the culture. And how different everything is today, from back then.

She dared writing witty and smart stories about the upper society, and how silly she found it. And yet, the irony of, how easy it was for her, a simple woman, to imagine how that kind of life was. Her characters are wellknown, and loved all over the world, 200 years later, which isn't something many people can say. Everyone, everywhere is looking for their own mr. Darcy. Maybe without even knowing; but that man is more a gentleman than any other fictional character ever written.

I love John Green as well, simply because he makes stories that are both witty, hardhitting and he likes weird stuff, entertwines it with his stories and makes it work. Even if it is, as he says, Swedish hiphop, which I can only imagine, is not great. (Since Sweden is the neighbor country, and I think their language is weird and almost Danish, it must sound.. Bad. Since Danish hiphop is bad. Scandinavian logic.) I love his stories and I love that his books are new, and a story we haven't heard before.

I love the Doctor. He's everywhere and anywhere, he has never any time, he has to run, and yet he is the last of the Time Lords, and saves everyone, someway or another. I think he's a great character, with both the young and so, so old nature - from funny to serious in a matter of seconds, and ready to save the day, and bear the responsibility, if something goes wrong. So young and so old, which is making the perfect amount of funny.

I love Harry Potter, because I grew up with him. His worries, angst, friends, experiences, and eventually love. It's still a bit weird to understand, that it ends soon, but I've loved every second of the ride, and considered myself a person, who have stuck with Harry until the very end, from the very beginning. Not his, when the book came out, but from mine. Right from when I could read.

I love Hermione Granger. Because I grew up with her as well, but mostly because I've always considered myself as her. I've seen so much of her in me. She's brave - which I may not be, she's clever and loyal (two things I do consider myself) and she's the kind of girl I'd like to grow up to be.

Very superficially, my newest hero is Daniel Faraday from Lost. He's just so... Cool. And sweet. He was introduced a couple of episodes ago, but he's my new favorite (what with Jack and Locke being totally crazy and power-loving) but Faraday is cool. He reminds me a bit of the Doctor, because of the timetravelling and the ability to understand and explain it. Even if it becomes a bit wibbly-wobbly at times. I love how sweet and forward he is, and I really hope, that there's a good explanation for, why he left his exgirlfriend so suddenly after her incident, because I can't imagine him being evil.

I have a lot of heroes, most superficial, but I could continue all day. So I'll just mention some names of those, who comes to mind: Charlie Pace (Lost), Remus Lupin, Benjamin Linus (Lost) etc.

And one more I'd like to add, which I figured would be too long to add, is Albus Dumbledore. He's just so cool and understanding. And has the best quotes. Oh, man I nearly forgot David Tennant! I hope he'll forgive me.

I actually forgot my graduation from 10th grade yesterday as well. But it's okay, 'cause I didn't really care. Even my mum forgot it, and told me an hour ago. Instead I had a lovely day with Lost on my tv.

That was one VERY long blogpost. Makes up for the short one last thursday. And lack for yesterday. Righ

Heroes

I obviously have a terrible memory.  I meant to update yesterday, I swear!

Anyway: let's talk about Heroes. Or just people that I look up to, whatever.

1) J.K. Rowling: I have to say, aside from my family, Harry Potter has been one of the most consistent parts of my growing up (actually, it might be more consistent than my family).  The presence and dependability of it always being a story I'll enjoy, with characters that I love has been a comfort at times.  Rowling's series has touched me so much, that it really cemented my dream of one becoming an author.  Of course, I might have wanted that before reading the series, and I was definitely an avid reader before I began them, but the level to which Rowling's writing and the world she created was able to draw me in was a real inspiration to my third grader self, and continues to be to my senior-in-high school self today.  Plus, JKR is pretty cool in general.

2)  Sherrod Brown: Brown is an Ohio Senator, and in my opinion is rather awesome.  I've had the opportunity to meet him before, though I was a little kid, but he was very nice.  In fact, I think that might be the thing that sets him apart from a lot of other politicians: he's nice, and he seems to be genuinely honest.  That's refreshing in a politician, especially what seems to be his genuine appreciation and caring of his constituents.  Brown is a person who almost makes me want to be a government official.  But honestly, I don't think I'd fit in.

These are the two that immediately come to mind that I can actually find a fair amount of words to talk about.  Other authors come to mind, particularly Alice Walker and Toni Morrison, and, of course, John Green.  Nellie Bly, the investigative journalist is rather badass, and I suggested reading about her, because she was really cool.  And also Rachel Maddow, who I deeply admire and would totally love to work for/intern for someday, if at all possible.  There's also the feminists Gloria Steinem, Jessica Valenti and Lucy Stone (though Stone would probably count more as a "suffragette").  Steinem started Ms. Magazine, another place I think it would be cool to work/intern at.  There's also my seventh- and eight-grade English teacher who set me on the path of being interested in journalism, and aspiration that the above mentioned Rachel Maddow has only perpetuated.

I think it's important to stop and think of the people who have influenced us, or that we look up to.  Even if it's an incredibly cheesy thing to say/do.

My recommendation is the film The Hours, it's also a book, about Virginia Woolf and her novel Mrs. Dalloway. But as I've never actually read either book (though I do intend to), the movie is what I am suggesting.

Zoos and animal rights

I don't consider myself an animal rights activist either, but I believe that all animals should be treated with respect. It is the owner who chooses to get an animal, the animal does not choose you.

I enjoy going to the Zoo, given that I like animals, as long as they're not forced to do anything or are sad.

I was in Berlin Zoo about 10 months ago, and I saw Knut, and he was very cute. But there was one of the polar bears who didn't look happy, but kept walking back and forth, which worried my family and I. We weren't sure if it was Knut, but I felt really sorry for the poor polarbear anyway.

My dad later on told me it was because it was bored and didn't know what to do, but I'm not entirely sure. I still don't know.

That is the only negative experience I've ever had in a Zoo, but the rest of the day in Berlin Zoo was actually good - they had this fence, and inside it was open for goats, geese and ducks to walk around as they pleased, and horses and donkeys were in cages, but it was all good, because they had loads of fans and attention (majority of those were 7 year old girls and me)

But it was a good Zoo, and we even saw animals I didn't know and a hippopotamus baby.

I'm not a vegetarian yet, but as soon as I'm a legally adult, I will pursue vegetarianism. I think it's important to stand up against animal cruelty, which is also why I am against real leather and fur.

I don't mind fake fur, leather, feathers etc, but killing animals should not be a fashion choice.

Thursday top 3:

1. Tickets to Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2

2. Weekend at my Grandma's

3. Tea.

Zoos! (Fake Enthusiasm)

You know what I'll never understand?  Why people love the zoo so much.  I suppose I might have liked it as a kid, but as far as I can remember, the most fun I've had at a zoo was at the petting zoo and in a butterfly house.  I like animals out where I can touch them, or be close to them, and while I don't think I'd necessarily want to be within touching distance of, say, a lion, it also doesn't seem particularly entertaining to just stand there and watch them lie around looking sad.

Maybe this is the 'animal rights' 'activist' coming out in me, though I don't normally consider myself an animal rights activist.  (Though I am a vegetarian, but that's a blog entry for another day, I think.)  It just seems unbearably mean to take an animal from their natural habitat and place them in a cage, or a glass box.  Of course, many animals in zoos were actually rescued animals, so i hardly want to accuse zoos of mass cruelty.  It just seems like an incredibly boring life, and an incredibly boring way to spend the day.

I bet the people who work at the zoos (presuming they like animals of curse) do actually have a lot of fun though.  I think it must be incredible to work with animals all day.  And while this is not something I plan to do, or even want to do with my life, I do feel a bit jealous of people who get to work with animals for a living.

And in keeping with my theme, I'm going to recommend the book The Nature of Jade.  The book features a main character who loves watching the elephants in the nearby zoo, and (possible spoiler?) eventually begins working with them.  That isn't what the book is about, but regardless, it is a beautifully written story and I really enjoyed reading it.

P.S.  Who else loved the Doctor Who mid-season finale?